What did we do? It’s a puppy.

I never birthed a child. My stepson came to me at the delightful age of potty-trained, able to feed himself, and with the capability to use words to ask for things. This pleased me.

I never owned a puppy. Iona was two, Henry was aged, and Max was, well Max was some age of fucked-up when he came to us. While all had shelter dog trauma, they were also house-trained and knew basic commands upon adoption. Pleased, I was. 

Oy arrived raw. Perfectly malleable. Perfectly trusting and fuzzy. Imperfectly unknowing of all things expected. 

 He’s actually figured out a lot of things, and a lot of things fast. But, he’s still a puppy. Not sure what a puppy is, wants, needs? [I now realize, I didn’t.]

  • Puppies pee. All the time. Whether they need to or not, they pee. Every 90 minutes is a conservative gauge. Every 30 minutes is probably more accurate.
  • Puppy teeth are mother-loving sharp. Like tiny little shark teeth designed to pierce flesh and Lululemon cloth.
  • Puppies do not care that you live on the 3rd floor and that your calves are screaming from sprinting three flights down and limping three flights up 15 times a day.
  • Puppies are oblivious to winter. They are covered in fur. Puppies do not care that you are not. They will also not care that you prefer to be in winter while wearing winter clothes. Learn to exist inside while fully and completely dressed for winter or die from hypothermia while outside. Your choice.
  • Puppies do what they want. If they no longer want to walk, they stop. Suddenly eight pounds of fluff becomes eighty pounds of anchor.
  • Puppies are inconsistent. One day they are crate-trained, house-trained, considerate throughout the day, and sleeping through the night. The next they are throwing temper-tantrums on the sidewalk, howling at air, eating your laundry, and peeing on you at 2am.
  • Puppies are beyond wonderful.

We’re in love. We may never adopt another ‘puppy’, but this one, this Oy, pleases me. More importantly, he wants to please us.