And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, “Oh there you are! I’ve been looking for you.”
What the fuck did you do to me?
Ok, so perhaps we’ve talked about a threesome. And this would be the perfect weekend, right? It’s Valentine’s Day! It’s the anniversary of the day Jason decided I was “the one.” (The ONE while we were broken up and I was dating THE BAD MAN and he was on the destruction quest of liquor and quantity lays, but that’s really not what we are here to talk about, kind of anniversary.) What WERE we talking about? Oh yes, the bitch that broke up my weekend. Octavia. Octavia is not the brunette I have perhaps dreamt about.
Jason finally finished school in Augusta on Thursday and drove up to Nashville for the long holiday weekend. The IDEA, the PLAN was for him and the recently busted out Max to drive back to Norfolk on Monday. Yeah whatever, we have a lot of cities. And then, the bitch came. Octavia decided to mess up our time together. Big storm across the South. 5-8 inches of snow in Nashville. 70 MPH winds in Norfolk. Jason driving through all of it and the mountains of North Carolina. Ok, fine…he leaves today instead. Ok, so I cried a bit when he left. I actually cry a lot when I talk about Jason. Damn him. Why does he make me cry? Why does he upright my world? Why do I have a soulmate when for years I screamed ‘bullshit’?
- He will never wear a mobile device on his hip
- He entertains my wild ideas and accepts them when they go array (think bourbon tasting and burlesque in one evening)
- His ears are proportionate to his head and his hands are big
- He has great hair
- He fills my house with flowers
- He’s annoyed when I open doors for myself
- He prefers hotels over tents
- He loves expensive, bright, shiny things
- He has a passport, an empty credit card and a carryon on the ready
- He is so fucking pretty
- He’s good at math
- He prefers the beach to the mountains; the heat trumps the cold
- He listens to me right before he talks over me
- He cleans my kitchen and folds my laundry better than I do
- He believes I am beautiful
- He gets ‘dog love’
- He is sexy as hell
- He thinks about me
- He laughs at himself so hard he cries
- He’s tone deaf and it doesn’t deter him
- He’s crafty
- He is a great father
- He ‘knows me’
- His hips are magical
There it is; Octavia you bitch. You took 24 hours from me, and for me, 24 hours are a goldmine of great things. Happy Anniversary my #hothusband of getting your head out of your ass. In 8 days my soulmate, we celebrate the anniversary of the big one. Get yourself ready for another great ride.