You’ll Be Okay

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days

And change will come
It’s on it’s way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
~A Great Big World: You’ll Be Okay

This past week was a little monumental.

Jason and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. My parents came to visit. I reconconciled with my estranged sister. Jason and I threw a party at our new home, and not only were my parents there, but we had 25 of our new CrossFit, work, and neighborhood friends in attendance. (Not bad party people for only living in Norfolk for six months.) And one of my favorite people had her world kicked out from under her…again.

That last one caught us all off guard. Not because it happened, but because of the intensity of it. Someday it’s a message worth conveying, but today it’s too early and inappropriate to talk about. The good? Unstoppable wheels are finally in motion.

So what DO I want to say about it? I woke up this morning feeling awesome. It was 3.17a and I had a suitcase to finish packing, a dog to set right, and a husband to kiss goodbye. I felt “ready” this morning. Pending snow, little sleep, some lingering worry, and a long day of flights and meetings did nothing to pause the rightness.

When I was going through my divorce from the practice husband, my amazing therapist said: “One day you will wake up; one day you will wake up and you will be okay. It might be three years from now, it might be three months from now, but you will wake up and be okay.” She was right, and I repeat this advice often.

One day I did wake up from that mess. I woke up and moved on and up from my life.

Since that moment, I have often woken up and decided that I would be okay. I have woken up on various days over the past five years and decided to be more than okay. To stop drinking, to start drinking, to quit my job, to start eating again, to start eating clean, to change my person, to make amends, to get over it, to take it on, to forego a lover, to embrace the love of my life, to forgive, to be awesome, to be badass, to be happy, to move out, to move in, to be appreciative, to be grateful, and to be okay.

You’ll be okay, beautiful. You will take this opportunity to be everything you are, and everything you didn’t know you could be. You will wake up one day and be okay.

‘Cause you’re never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way

Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday