Slice me in Half

Is it fine to steal the words and feelings that are evoked from your friends and call them your own? Let’s just say…yes. Yes, it is. Ah, the amazing power of friends in faraway places, and the freaking annoying spirit of Christmas. Makes my judgement a little less clear and my person a little more visceral.

I am coming off the heels of some amazing days, and I keep catching myself being a little happy, drunk, and sentimental. Possibly due to the upcoming holiday, perhaps leftover festive debauchery, or probably some combination which also includes a touch of remorse and nostalgia.

My dearest and “secret” friend in the Philippines sent me an email that was part update and part reminiscent. It sent me into simultaneous laughter and hysterical tears as it made me miss her painfully and wish for things I am not certain I want.

I won’t divulge all our secrets but here are some passages that hit me hardest. I apologize in advance if she wants me to be less transparent, but the images were just too “present” not to share. It thrust me back into my former life like a sudden punch to the sternum.

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I am keeping myself awake for the next few hours so that I can sleep at the appropriate time, so that I can wake up when I’m supposed to. (You remember how that works.)

Last night, I had dinner with friends. We laughed so much, the kind that catches you by surprise and slices you in half. We went to this old house converted to a restaurant in Quezon City, alien territory. You would have liked it, it was full of kitchy Filipino mementos from the 1940’s and paintings by local artists. I woke up this morning still chuckling. Shaking my head over how crazy my life is now and how crazy my friends have always been.

My dad got a book published – a collection of poetry. It is disturbingly brilliant and profound. I have a copy for you. You will get it when I see you next.

I ended up sorting through drawers and found your name plate, the one my team had stolen from your former office and given me.

I’m babbling, I know. I guess these are random things I would tell you if you were sitting next to me and we were having a bottle (or three) of wine. I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you that you are missed and thought of often.
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I have had more than a few moments lately where laughter has “sliced me in half”. I am so grateful for those people than have that affect on me. I am also grateful to those that can make my heart skip…those across the country, around the world, and more than a few right here in my own city.

Let the slicing commence.