Women often say ridiculous things. Put them together after much time apart, inject them with lots of alcohol, and you have flurry of gut-wrenching one-liners. So was this past weekend celebrating my mom’s birthday in Door County with my mom and sisters. At one point, I think all four of us were in tears at a restaurant, completely doubled over in laughter. We’d absolutely freaking lost it.
In the meantime, here are some of the best comments of the weekend (thank you Blackberry Notes.)
- That’s how you get rid of a hangover. You just slide right into another drunk.
- You never reap what you sow in your own garden.
- When I see people on motorcycles, I just want to hit the first one and watch them all tip over like dominoes.
- I had a munchie basket last night and now it is all in my bra.
- We could have walked here you bumble heads!
- It’s fourth meal, bitches!!!
- The only reason I am taking my pants off is in case of an emergency.
- Mom, you eat your pie.
- Did mom dance around in her unitard to Jane Fonda?
- How did you wear out your pants? From sitting?
- I loved my Lucy pants!
- I’m pretty if you drink.
- What’s better than a drunk? A snorting drunk.
- That woman was always on the sauce. That’s it Elizabeth! You are just saucy!
- You come when I honk you.
- Maybe I am actually an idiot.
- I don’t want a shirt that says ‘crockery’.